7.26.2007 | Nanny Strikes Again

It's easy enough to find many pictures showing how evil McDonald's is. This theme was even turned, by a polemicist, into a feature-length movie in 2004 (Super Size Me). The common thread? Blame McDonald's for, among other things, weight gain if one eats nothing but Big Macs and fries and sugared soda for a month. Who knew that overeating could cause health problems?

Also, please don't spill any hot coffee on your lap; that could hurt. The point is that our culture has no shortage of nannies; well-meaning pedagogue who assume that we are all stupid lemmings, running as fast as we're able towards that cliff of early death from heart disease, stroke, cancer, or just general poor health. All not our fault, but because the major purveyors of heart disease, etc., especially McDonald's, has fooled us all into buying their junk food. Again. And again. And again, world with an abrupt end, amen.

The theme, or perhaps trope might be a better word, is explained in this matter-of-fact piece in the Gray Nanny, er, New York Times:

It wasn’t too long ago that the only thing McDonald’s seemed good at was making people fat. Staggered by overexpansion, listless sales and a barrage of negative publicity linking its food to obesity, the chain’s glory days appeared to be fading.

In 2003, company executives set about reinventing McDonald’s by focusing on getting better rather than bigger. In the last few years, McDonald’s has seemed to do just about everything right. The chain has spruced up its restaurants, improved its advertising and introduced menu items that have helped to reshape its image and reinvigorate sales. Premium salads and apple dippers brought moms back. Chicken wraps lured people during off-hours; higher-quality coffee turbocharged breakfast business.

McDonald’s stock price has quadrupled in the last four years, and the company has reported positive same-store sales, an important industry measure, every month since April 2003.

Given those results, a new McDonald’s menu item is a bit of a stunner. Remember Supersize sodas? They’re back, except this time the chain is trying a new name. Meet the “Hugo,” a 42-ounce drink now available for as little as 89 cents in some markets. A Hugo soda contains about 410 calories.

McDonald’s might as well have called it the Tubbo.

We consumers, of course, are too stupid to know that a 42-ounce soda might contain quite a few calories. And, natch, we'll get a super-size fried with that. It's hard to know what aggravates the Times more: the fact that McDonald's, a purveyor of death, is doing well as a corporation, or that they sell such a bountiful drink as the Hugo at such a low price.

Regardless, the Times represents the very best of the Nanny State: always looking out for what they consider to be our best interests. Always assuming that we are simply too stupid to figure it out for ourselves. And, just as in affirmative action devotees, patronizing, to the max, the intended recipients.

It's the new version of the White Man's Burden. But this time, the natives are restless...