10.15.2005 | D'OHn't Mess with the Simpsons

I understand your jihad, I understand you're angry because your societies are mired in the 8th century -- or would be, if they could just advance somewhat. I understand that you celebrate voodoo holidays, that you think all of us infidels should be killed first and then converted. But you've just gone over the line.

In an article in today's Wall Street Journal, I read where an Arab satellite television station, MBC, has developed and will air an Arabized version of the Simpsons. You won't find this on the link provided, but in the WSJ, we find out that there will be two things missing from Homer's life among the sands: Duff beer, and pork products of any kind.

Culturally insensitive, don't you know. Well, I'm guessing that the folks who actually own the rights to the Simpsons must have needed some walkin' around money. Hard to otherwise explain how they would agree to portrayal of Homer without two of his core food groups: bacon and beer.

Or, to quote a great American, Homer J. Simpson, "Beer...the cause of, and solution to, all of life's little problems."

Just isn't right, say I. If the Arabs want their own version of Homer Simpson, fine, create one from the ground up. Oh. Forgot. You can't do that. You're too busy trying to kill us, aren't you.

At the risk of being culturally insensitive, what in God's green earth is wrong with you people? Can't you get a laugh at Homer as Everyman, who fails at everything, yet has a heart of gold? What difference does it make if you don't drink beer or eat bacon? Does it so bother you that I like those things, that Homer basically lives on them that you can't watch and enjoy the foibles of a fat Springfielder?

How sad that cultural sensitivity only goes one way.