10.30.2005 | $60K and doesn't go...

...but according to the car guys at Car and Driver, "Growing pains taint, but do not despoil, our affection for this two-time 5Best winner." The "two-time 5Best winner" is a Caddy SRX costing northwards of $60 thousand dollars. For that price, you could buy three reliable, durable, economical Honda Civics, or, if you really needed a luxo, all-wheel drive ride, two Subaru Tribecas -- and have all the luxury you might think you need. Or, just buy one, and have $30K change to put to more useful pursuits.

In a long-term review of the SRX, the tale is of a car that decided it wasn't going to put up with this stopping and then actually starting again. This after not much more than 4K miles on the odometer.

Three thoughts on reading this review. The first is that C&D writers are so enamored with cars that they are blind to what should be considered a fatal flaw in the design. The second is that it is no wonder why the Big-3 Detroit automakers are teetering on the brink of bankruptcy, serving up such mediocrity. Expensive mediocrity.

The last thought is that it is a wonder, indeed, why anyone would want to buy a Cadillac, given that for $60K you could buy a luxury car (or two) that actually went. Without having to disconnect and reconnect the battery.
Of course, you wouldn't have that wonderful prestige of owning a POS hunk of Detroit iron from the doddering General.

10.28.2005 | Kulture

Used to be, movies were based on books. Actual books, written by men and women, with words. Then we got to recognize that comic books had some pretty cool ideas and concepts. Hence, movies based on DC and Marvel heroes. Batman. Superman. X-Men (so far, my favorite character ever is Wolverine).

Now we've come to the point where we have a movie based on a ghetto thug's "music", "Get Rich or Die Tryin." Apparently a bio-pic about a heavily tattooed rap "artist." Skin ink is a must for thugs these days; gotta get those 'tats to make it look like you're a real man who's served hard time.

Rap "music" hurts my ears, and the variety that this thug pushes is of the by-now cliched bitches and hoes and niggas variety. Very original. Not. Very stupid. Yes. And quite a drag on the socioeconomic status of blacks in this country. At least those who listen to this crap and think it somehow epitomizes what they should aspire to.

Look, let's be clear. It's just marvelous that the moron whose life is depicted here pulled himself out of being a drug dealer. BFD. Although, judging from some of the lyrics that the movie is based on (sample: "In the backseat fondling ya bitch nigga"), rap music is a step down from dealing.

10.26.2005 | "a tax on stupidity"

State lotteries are the subject, described in an interesting article today in the Wall Street Journal. The article starts with the idea that Harriet Miers' tenure on Texas Lottery Commission, although not worthy of an "inquisition", could be used as what our socially aware (read: guilty white liberals) betters might call a "teaching moment."

There are 41 states with lotteries, and there didn't used to be any. Somebody must think these things are good at raising money for the state coffers. And anyone who can think and do some elementary school math must know that playing the lottery is a really bad "investment." Hence, from the WSJ:

Lottery tickets are what economists call an "inferior good"--demand grows as you go down the income scale. They are also highly taxed: At least 40% goes to the state, unless you think a lottery ticket itself is a tax on stupidity, in which case the tax is 100%.

My view of lotteries is that they are, indeed, a tax on stupid people. Including, more than once, me.

But, hey, I can afford it, can't I? Unlike, for instance, the target audience for a radio ad heard the other day concerning the Powerball lottery in the District of Columbia: "Don't invest your rent money on the Powerball."

Stupid, indeed, those who actually need to be told this.

10.24.2005 | Much Ado about Nothing

One of The Bard's better comedies, set in Messina, Sicily, and clearly many years before the creation of the U.S. Army Air Corps. We saw "Much Ado" yesterday at the Folger Theatre (Washington Post review). Marvelous cast; solid performances by all, some brilliant.

Small problem, at least for those of us who love Shakespeare: the setting of the play was updated to immediate post-war England. The main characters who just returned from war were portrayed as members of the U.S. Army Air Corps, and the governor of Messina, Leonato, was portrayed as an English lord. All well and good, the play's themes were still visible. Even modern trashing of the setting can't totally cloud Shakespeare's genius.

So, why complain? After all, if the story is eternally valid, and the acting good, who's the worse off? The chief victim here was the suspension of disbelief that is an essential ingredient to the success of any fantasy. And, make no mistake, "Much Ado" is a fantasy, meaning a story that simply can not otherwise be taken seriously.

The biggest obstacle to that needed suspension of disbelief? When characters, ostensibly American or English, address each other as "Signior." Works like a charm in Sicily. Odd to the point of intruding on the play's continuity given the setting. The other thing? The royal titles, such as "count", being applied to men in American uniforms.

"Much Ado" is not the first time the Folger, and a good many other companies, have updated Shakespeare's settings. Sometimes it works, as it did for me in Franco Zeffirelli's Romeo + Juliet. In the movie, anachronisms such as semi-automatic pistols for swords could be made an in-joke by ironic product placement of the "Sword" brand of 9mm pistols. And the setting was, at least, still Verona, and very much a Mediterranean, Latinate culture.

All in all, "Much Ado" was delightful, yet its updating presented superfluous obstacles to its full enjoyment. The cast had to work a little bit harder than it should have had to. Let Shakespeare's work stand alone; it does not usually benefit from modern embellishment.

10.22.2005 | Chicago's turn

Pity the Chicago baseball teams, mired in what seems to be decades upon decades of failure. The Cubs haven't won a World Series since 1908. The Sox, who blasted their way into this year's fall classic, haven't even appeared in the Series since 1959, and last won it 1n 1917. That's a long time between drinks.

And, after this long dry spell, the pale hose from Chicago will face...a wild card team that got lucky and has never once even appeared in the Series in the franchise's history. Speaking of a team that plays in Houston, Texas. As the old-timers say, "it just ain't right, I tells ya..."

I can get used to the idea that baseball is now played in deserts and swamps, south of Washington, DC, and west of the Mississippi River. Contrary to God's natural laws, of course, but these are hardly our worst transgressions against the Big Guy. No, the real offense here is the fact that here's a team, the Astros, that did not win anything. Yet, through two "championship" series, were able to defeat two teams with better season records. In a fair universe, the St. Louis Cardinals, with the best won-lost percentage in the National League, should be playing the White Sox.

Having wild-card teams may allow for the fans in many cities to hope against hope that their teams get really lucky and make it to the Series. But that's not baseball, which should reward excellence over a long haul, over the punishing regular season. Not simply play a ratings game to assuage the feelings of fan, and that allows a second rate team to advance.

The proper name for teams that don't win their divisions? Loser.

Go Sox.

10.21.2005 | No so hoky

The Hokies of Virginia Tech, actually, who are now 7-0, and just beat up on Maryland, although it was not pretty. Fear the Turtle, my butt.

I root for the Hokies, though I didn't go to VT. Why? Well, I've now lived in Virginia longer than I lived in my native New York, so have a certain homeboy interest in Virginia teams. Also, I did graduate from a "small but select"* technical school in upstate New York, very much a New York version of VT. Or is VT a Virginia versio of RPI? Also, I did some diligent prospective-parent R&D on the Blacksburg campus for one of my offspring, and was much impressed. Oh, and in this day of the paid "student athlete", VT is known for its (relatively) high graduation rate for the football team.

As a technical school graduate, I always have a soft spot for any school that has "Engineers" or "Polytech" in its name. Also, the fact that Blacksburg, Virginia, is one of the most wired towns in America also impresses; we nerd-wannabes have to stick together. 'Course, it's a little tough getting past the hoky Hokie mascot. A turkey? What's with that? Whatever.

Go, Hokies.
____
*This was one of our standing jokes at RPI, back
when there were less than 4,000 students. The joke
was, how in God's green earth did they ever select us?

10.19.2005 | Suing God

Well, it's a good thing this case isn't coming before the Ninth Circuit. Those judges are just looney enough to hear it. This case being the demented attempt (or fiendishly clever...) by a convicted Romanian murderer to sue God.

It's the Big Guy's fault, since this hump was properly baptized by God's local agents, the Romanian Orthodox Church. And, as we all know, baptism is meant to seal you as one of God's own. Isn't it? The story, from the Daily Times, a Pakistani (!) online outlet, is summarized in this extract from the moke's pleading:

"I, the undersigned Pavel M, currently jailed at Timisoara Penitentiary serving a 20 years sentence for murder, request legal action against God, resident in Heaven, and represented here by the Romanian Orthodox Church, for committing the following crimes: cheating, concealment, abuse against people’s interest, taking bribe and traffic of influence."

Well, nice try, Bozo. Wasn't there something in those baptism vows about "renouncing Satan and all of his works?" That was on you, moron.

Oh. Forgot. You were probably baptized as an infant. OK, sue your Godparents. They were the ones who let you become a tool of Satan.

10.18.2005 | West Wing Dreamin'

As a former victim of the Inside-the-Beltway culture, I enjoy the fantasy show about what a Democratic administration would be like if it were led by a morally straight and academically brilliant version of Bill Clinton. The West Wing is an interesting show, if only for the insights it gives to the world of Hollywood liberals.

In truth, the West Wing is a liberal's wet dream. Here we have Josiah Edward Bartlet, Jed, presented as a devout Catholic from an olde-tyme family in New Hampshire who is moral, upstanding, and a Nobel laureate in economics to boot. Wow. Bartlet is played by a lefty's lefty, Martin Sheen, but he does make a convincing president. At least if one suspends disbelief long enough to imagine that such a man could actually gain the Donk nomination in the first place.

This season's episodes are focused on the very end of Bartlet's two (!) terms, and the presidential race between a devout Catholic and an agnostic. In the dream world of the liberals, of course, it's the Donk who's the Catholic, Matt Santos, played by Jimmy Smits. Santos is moral, upstanding, and is distinguished primarily by not having a Nobel prize. Oh, did I mention that he is Hispanic? "Santos" kind of gives it away, I thought. Don't you see how open-minded we Donks are? We up and nominated one of them...

Santos is rather sanctimonious about things, generally, and comes across as having the kind of naiveté one might find in a candidate for treasurer of the 7th grade. But he's likeable, nonetheless. Hey, it's only a television program, right?

Well, Santos stepped in it during the most recent episode, when asked "Do you believe in intelligent design?" Santos replied, brilliantly if evasively, "I believe in God, and I'd like to think He's intelligent." This causes shock and awe among the loyal Donk staffers, both in the Santos campaign, and in the West Wing. OhMyGawd, doesn't Santos know that our party's base are atheistic baby-killers? He said he believed in G - O - D. In He-Who-Must-Not-be-Named.

OK, maybe they didn't say it quite like that. However, the subtext being pushed by the liberal writers here, not terribly subtle, is that Democrats can also be devout Christians. And that Republicans, in this instance Arnold Vinick, played by Alan Alda, are free to be non-Christians.

This is fascinating, turning the real world upside down. An entertaining show, the West Wing is. But let no one confuse it with anything remotely approaching today's reality. I told you that West Wing was a Donk's wet dream, didn't I?

10.17.2005 | Jag-You-Are

Perhaps you've heard these annoying commercials on the airwaves: a plummy, Oxbridge kind of accent, inviting us plebians to just go on out and buy one. A Jaguar motor car, that is, which the English voice pronounces "jag-you-are."

I suppose that there is a certain kind of American who fancies him or herself a member of some imaginary upper class. On such, this kind of an approach may work. I find it simply annoying, because that's not the way I speak. Nor is it the way any of my family, friends, or the many people, from all around the country, I've served with spoke.

I've worked with some of our British cousins, and, mostly, they didn't speak like that, either. Of course, they were military, and tended to come from the North or Borders; they'd likely have an even more negative reaction. But it's not just the accent; after all, it's hard to change your way of speaking.

No, not just the accent. Jaguar advertising is annoying and cloying, all at once. It's that not-so-subtle appeal to the American consumer who may have more money than common sense. Who, after these many years of separation from the Mother Country, just can't hold in his inner Anglophile.

As for the Jaguar as a car? Mediocre at best; clearly overpriced in relation to what's available in the market. Jags look good; they always have. But if you want a real car, one that will perform and get you where you want to go (and back, which Jags have a nasty history of not doing), I'd say get a Toyota, Honda, or Subaru.

Even a F(ound) O(n) the R(oad) D(ead), made by Jaguar's current corporate owner, would be better. At least you wouldn't be paying tens of thousands for snob appeal.

10.16.2005 | Satanic verses?

One of the best country songs, ever, by Charlie Daniels is "The Devil Went Down to Georgia." Well, Satan is most definitely afoot. At least insofar as one, count him, one, extremist in the suppression of any public expression of anything remotely related to the religion is able to suppress a harmless song.

The sad story is in today's Washington Post, and its essence is that a marching band was going to play that pesky Charlie Daniels song. The lyrics to the song are here, just in case any of y'all aren't familiar with it (if not, why not? I want a full report on my desk by 0700...).

In two paragraphs, here's what transpired (from the Post story):

But early this month, a local newspaper, the Potomac News, published a letter by a Woodbridge resident who, after having seen the C.D. Hylton Bulldawg Marching Band perform the country-western hit at a football game, wondered how a song about the devil could be played at school events, because of the separation of church and state.

Fearing bad public reaction, Hylton's longtime band director, Dennis Brown, pulled the song from the playlist. "I was just being protective of my students. I didn't want any negative publicity for C.D. Hylton High School," he said.

Well, I suppose that the letter-writer could have sincerely felt reasons. He's forgiven, and, in fact, according to the Post story, home-schools his children. Which may, or may not, say anything about his personal faith. But that's neither here nor there. The real problem is the band director, who lacked the simple fortitude to simply state the obvious: a song is just a song, and, yes, it mentions the Devil. Oooohhh. Scary.

Well, it wouldn't be the first time that a gutless school flunky fails the common sense test. It might be helpful, too, if everyone would know that the mention of God, of Satan, of Jesus, of Moses, of the Ten Commandments, of any and all of these things does not establish a state church. Not. Even. Close.

To those atheists or misguided believers who protest? Hard cheese. Start your owned damned (correct usage here) nation. Ours was founded by believers who were not afraid to appeal to Divine providence.

10.15.2005 | This won't make them step up...

...to their responsibilities as men. That's the 'Millions More Movement', for which, according to the usually sympathetic Washington Post story, actually may garner...thousands. Which is still pretty impressive for a race-bating, anti-Semite like Louie Freakycan.

The objective seems to be to embarrass black men into actually acting like men; to stepping up to their responsibilities as men and not taking the punk route. Like such a large majority of black men do. Of course, not all of black "leaders" see it this way. From the Post:

"The need to mobilize and the need to organize is here, like it was 10 years ago," said the Rev. Al Sharpton, as he walked to the stage with the Rev. Jesse L. Jackson. "The determination of whether this event is significant will not be determined on how many people came, but how they left and what they did. What made the 1963 march is that we passed the 1964 civil rights bills. The success of this march will be that we take charge of our communities and make a difference in the 0-6 elections."

"We passed the 1964 civil rights bills"?? What you mean, "we", kemosabe? You had zip to do with it. The heavy lifting was done by white politicos who realized that the time had come to set things right, that the Democratic Party had for too long held the blacks down in the South. Yes, the Democratic Party. The same ones who led secession from the Union in the first place.

Once again, black Americans will be let down by their alleged leaders, men like the lying piece of feces Sharpton and that old racialist huckster Jesse Jackson. Victory will not be measured by who wins elections, or any legislation. Victory will be achieved at the most local of levels: the individual and the nuclear family.

By individual men and women who do the right thing, one man, one woman, one couple at a time. By kids who finish high school and actually get a job. By kids whose parents supervise them, teach them right from wrong, and don't think that the government or the schools will do that for them. By men and women who get married before having babies, and stay together to raise and nurture those babies. By kids, and their parents, who don't do drugs, who don't kill each other for name-label shoes or sportswear, who don't idolize women- and white-hating rappers, and who can recognize much of the hiphop culture for the punkass garbage it is.

Black men: be men, be dads and not just fathers. Black women: wait until you're married, then stick with one man. It's all about family values, and there's no government on earth that can give those to you. You've got to grow them down home.

| D'OHn't Mess with the Simpsons

I understand your jihad, I understand you're angry because your societies are mired in the 8th century -- or would be, if they could just advance somewhat. I understand that you celebrate voodoo holidays, that you think all of us infidels should be killed first and then converted. But you've just gone over the line.

In an article in today's Wall Street Journal, I read where an Arab satellite television station, MBC, has developed and will air an Arabized version of the Simpsons. You won't find this on the link provided, but in the WSJ, we find out that there will be two things missing from Homer's life among the sands: Duff beer, and pork products of any kind.

Culturally insensitive, don't you know. Well, I'm guessing that the folks who actually own the rights to the Simpsons must have needed some walkin' around money. Hard to otherwise explain how they would agree to portrayal of Homer without two of his core food groups: bacon and beer.

Or, to quote a great American, Homer J. Simpson, "Beer...the cause of, and solution to, all of life's little problems."

Just isn't right, say I. If the Arabs want their own version of Homer Simpson, fine, create one from the ground up. Oh. Forgot. You can't do that. You're too busy trying to kill us, aren't you.

At the risk of being culturally insensitive, what in God's green earth is wrong with you people? Can't you get a laugh at Homer as Everyman, who fails at everything, yet has a heart of gold? What difference does it make if you don't drink beer or eat bacon? Does it so bother you that I like those things, that Homer basically lives on them that you can't watch and enjoy the foibles of a fat Springfielder?

How sad that cultural sensitivity only goes one way.

10.14.2005 | And a child shall lead them?

"Marching to Nowhere" is the headline on a commonsensical piece in today's Washington Post. David Nicholson, the author, reminds blacks that displays of solidarity, such as the (way-less-than-million-but-hey, who's-counting) million man march of ten years ago hasn't led to any significant improvement in the black condition in the United States.

Nicholson serves up some of the usual depressing stats:

Black unemployment, at nearly 11 percent, according to the National Urban League report "The State of Black America 2005," is virtually unchanged. Black men earn about 70 percent of what white men earn, up a mere 3 percent. Sixty-eight percent of black children are born out of wedlock, compared to about 70 percent a decade ago.

Not mentioned, but always in the background, is the fact that something like 2/3 of all men in prison are black, compared with just under 10 percent of white men (source: Bureau of Justice Statistics).

So, yes, we've not made any significant progress. By all means, let's have another pathetic romp on the National Mall this weekend. And, by all means, let's allow ourselves to be led by one who commands the utmost in respect and shows the world his dignity of person: Louis ("it's the Jooos") Farrakhan.

Freakycan is no joke. He's not an idiot. What he is, is a white-hating, Cahtolic-hating, anti-Semite. Any good parts of his message are incidental to his evil message of hatred and division. Jesse Jackson and that moron from my home town are jokes. Not entirely harmless, to be sure. But they've become jokes. Freakycan is not a joke.

Blacks who follow this hatemonger, even though he also preaches a message of self-reliance, are going down a darkened alley, separating themselves from civilization.

Enjoy the trip, and write if you get work.

10.13.2005 | Greetings: A new blog

Just what the world needs -- another new blog. Too bad. I need it.

Jack Rich again. New blog. This time, some bloggy goodness that is more casual, lighter in tone, not so deadly serious. Mostly. I'll still blog on idiotarians in the news; I find that sort of thing to be fun. Call it a cheap form of therapy for your humble blogger.

For a more serious take, and taking myself far too seriously, shuffle over to my political blog at LiLPoH. Life, liberty, & the pursuit of you-know-what. Yes, the blogs share their basic Blogspot DNA. So what? It's the content, folks, not the whistles and bells in your html and css and what-all. And, no, I'm not trying to be James Lileks.

Read. Enjoy. Smoke 'em if you've got 'em. More to come.